The Feel of Autumn
Growing up in Florida I never got to experience a true fall season with my mother. I have heard many times fall was her favorite. She even passed away in November on an overcast, breezy, and cool day. I remember the curtains blowing in the wind as I entered her bedroom to say goodbye.
Amongst everything I was feeling, I just kept thinking to myself how she got to spend her last day here on one of the most beautiful days I had ever lived — most importantly, on one of her favorite types of days. The thought alone brought with it peace.
That was almost 16 years ago and every once in a while a day like that will come along and I will think of her.
As I was driving around this morning, the windows down, cool breeze in the air, a pop of early fall color — I couldn't help being reminded of her.
How she used to drive me to school in the mornings of 9th grade and we would stop at the local gas station for coffee. At that time it was really just 3/4 cup vanilla and hazelnut creamer with a splash of hazelnut coffee. She would bring her perfume with her for me to spray on myself before getting out of the car. At the time she was using Allure, and the smell of it made me feel like I was becoming a woman. Still to this day I keep a collection of perfume bottles, because in my mind, they have a way of making me feel like a lady. A way of making me feel close to my mother.
The feeling of a fall day will always bring about these types of memories and I welcome them — for so long I fought hard to block them, but as long as I am here, I will keep her spirit alive in the feel of autumn.